In Australia there is a new product on the market for arthritis cripples. It's a cream that you smear liberally on troublesome areas for "a little bit of relief" that's the name of the product.

The product is not important, but the marketing is. It's genius and will never fail. There are so many products on the market that claim miracles, but this shitty little cream affords what it boasts. Even if it didn't work, they could still that the relief is so small, some people can't feel it. I believe it is selling like mad because of it's humble claims.

Maybe there are some other products that should take up the idea

Here are the top ten products I'd like to see on the shelf

10 - Not as stinky, probably good for your teeth - The ultimate in toothpaste, realistically

9 - 99% success - Condoms with a disclaimer

8 - Will catch most of the shit - Nappies with no wild allegations of absorption

7 - Placebo pills - To replace any medication, will they still work? Probably, people are morons

6 - Quite understandably butter - removing the shock from "I can't believe it's not butter"

5 - Better than you were before spray - deodorant you can't argue about

4 - So desperate you'll buy me - A product that would give bald men hope of hair

3 - I don't work! - Anything to do with dieting or alternative medicine

2 - Nothing new here - The latest design of an overprice razor

1 - Smells better than shit - The latest toxic smelling toilet spray that you can't disagree with

Think about buying "Smells better than shit." When your wife complains "it smells like a hospital that's been pissed on by a lemon," the obvious retort is - "Well, it smells better than shit!"

What about those products owned by the supermarkets; home brand, no name, no frills. They go out of their way to trick people into thinking they're popular by choosing a name so close to the product their trying to copy that they need a full legal team. Tim tams become tom tams, smiths chips become smitts chips, chocolate weatons become chocolate westerns.

Maybe they should just say "I'd blow my load if I could take the market from the product I'm sitting next to trying to copy... but my packaging is not as nice and I actually taste like shit."

I'm for more honesty in advertising.

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