The Natives vs The English - Australia Day is Shit

There is a recent push for all Australians to embrace such holidays as Anzac Day and Australia Day. The worst of these is Australia day, lets look at the facts and start with the original inhabitants of Australia.

Australian Aboriginals have had a shitty existence ever since the european invaders turned up in 1788. Many of the european bastards I'm related to, which I'm sure you'll appreciate. My ancestors most probably were convicts and totally big time villains, committing crimes as unthinkable as stealing bread, that's right kids.. there's badass running through my veins.

English people were interested in a few things that led them to Australia. The first being the uncontrollable desire to own as much land as physically possible and finding a place to dump all their stinky criminals.

Meanwhile, the aborigines went about making wommeras and spearing dugongs.. business as usual.

I don't think the English thought too much about the natives, I think when they got here they just decided to shoot them because they were in the way. Plus women walking around topless with saggy breasts was considered barbaric and unusual. It also proved arousing to many of the English who decided to sex them.

The Europeans proceeded to cut the land into little squares so as they could have a little bit each. To the natives this was quite bemusing. The aborigines didn't need to do that, they just ambled around picking berries and eating goannas,,, they slept wherever they wanted.

What is my point? I was hoping you wouldn't ask as I'm not sure I have one. So, let me make one up impromptu.

My point is every Australia day a bunch of old guys celebrate all their dead mates who all gave their lives fighting the spread of evil communism which somehow had the ability to jump oceans and take control of your government while you slept. The rest of the diggers just celebrate the fact that they're still alive at 103. Granted they have to shit in a bag connected to their wheelchair, but I guess there's some sort of glory in that. Everyone else celebrates the fact that we founded a nation on the backs of the aboriginal people. Building our foundations on the corpses of murdered native families.

Forgive me, but I'm of the strict opinion that Australia day sucks.

The war veterans have way more balls than me and they deserve to be able to celebrate it and honour their fallen comrades, but leave it to ANZAC day or the anniversary of the ending of WWII.

For some reason, almost every 2nd aboriginal person I meet wants to choke me to death.. I guess I can understand why .. but should I feel personally responsible? I hate Australia day.

As a nation, Australia is the result of imperialistic homicide, dumping of criminals, outmoded ideals and controlling religious beliefs. Now days we are a sycophant to the United States acquiescing to their tyrannical escapes while we enforce barbaric immigration policy supported by the fact that 60% of the baby boomer and older generations are racist.

Screw Australia to death with a splintered broomstick.

Getting back to the point, our native inhabitants have been shat on and are now so alienated they turn to crime. This conveniently allows us to suggest that they are born criminals. This sucks dogs balls. It's nice to be able to say, I'd feel sorry for aboriginals... if they didn't keep stealing my dvd player. Giving them money doesn't help, you see one of them drunk and naturally everyone assumes that ALL their funding is spend on Jim Beam and sniffing petrol. They've had a raw deal since we arrived.

English 10, Natives -5

Here is my visual interpretation.

What do I propose? Shit.. who keeps asking me these questions?

I have no idea, I don't propose anything. Put me on the payroll and I'll propose more than Elizabeth Taylor. In the meantime lets stop celebrating Australia day, the centenary of federation. We'd do much better to celebrate the day that Hitler first spoke in front of the German Workers party.

We europeans murdered the natives because we couldn't understand why they wouldn't want to live like us. Well I freaking do! If I was minding my business collecting yams and a boat load of pompous goits came sailing towards me with their curly grey hair and shiny gay costumes, I'd be pretty pissed off too. Especially when they murdered my family and stole my children.

I renounce my heritage if a part of my blood was responsible for this... but I'm certain I was a mere convict, ranting as passionately about the injustice as I am now.

Aboriginals as a whole don't really help their cause though. I have a friend who lives in a town where there are lots of them and he can recite several incidents where they were intent on beating the snot out of him. The rift between the black and white people is forever growing. White people think our government bends over and takes it up the ass from them, and black people probably just want us to piss off. Who knows? All I know is that people will abuse me for talking about aboriginals like they are humans, but fuck them. I'll steal your house and sell your children like the english did to them.

Screw those english bastards.

Comments? Email me

 

About Us | Site Map | Disclaimer | Contact Us | ©2004-2007 Mad Sophist.com