It never ceases to amaze me the new scams that pop up like herpes on a hooker yet seem to take off. The most idiotic of those I have seen of late would have to be christmas hampers. The idea is, you give them a dollar a day or whatever then on christmas they deliver a hamper full of shit for you and your obese kids. What a genius idea! Here's another genius idea... dunk your heads in molten lava. The worst thing is that there used to be only one such company that advertised on TV, now there's two. The ads make me want to put my face in a blender .. again.
Here's an alternative. Put the money in the bank and buy the shit yourself! If you don't have the discipline to save so you don't starve on christmas then you don't deserve to eat. Thanks for contributing to the success of these incessant dipshit tv ads. So many companies are making money from this... "Give us 2 dollars a day and we'll bury your husband when he snuffs it."
Can you think of any other stupid idea's like this? Here's what we'll do. We'll think of a few them patent them so that we're not subjected to anymore bullshit commercials.
Top 5 Bullshit ideas of the christmas hamper ilk.
5. For a dollar a day we'll pay for your liposuction when you reach 500 pounds eating christmas hampers.
4. Pay us $40 a week and we'll bail you out of the debt created from you paying us 40 dollars a week (minus a small fee)
3. 2 dollars a week and we'll show you how to BANK THE MONEY YOURSELF AND SAVE MILLIONS you ignoramus
2. For 1 dollar a month, we'll find your keys
1. For 2 dollars a day we'll pay for the petrol to drive the 5 kms to the grocery store yourself and pick up your christmas hamper yourself you lazy idle piece of crap.
There is nothing magical about a christmas that costs you twice as much because you took the whole year to pay it off "conveniently". It's about as convenient as haemmeroids on a melbourne cup jockey. Please spare us from making any more of these stupid scams which are accompanied with tv ads that make neighbours seem like quality viewing. It's a testament to the stupidity of people that these things even survive. So if you're a christmas hamper recipient this year, next year pay me the money and I'll hire a hit man to put you out of your misery christmas morning.
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