This article is directed towards sms junkies and other such language slaughtering braidead halfwits. In case you're 50 years old and live in a cave, there's a revolution going on.
Not a silent revolution, one that makes annoying beeps, and can even vibrate! Dangerous you say? Of course it is!
The revolution involves "abbreviated" language in order to save time and make yourself look stupid.. which seems to appeal to many people. I will come back to "abbreviated" as it is another thing that needs to be addressed.
Examples of this abbreviated language are here for the layman:
Wat r u doin? = What are you doing?
wanna cum out 2nite? = Want to come out tonight?
soz, Luv U 2 = Sorry, Love you too, (not the band)
want 2 come sk8 bordin? = Want to come skateboarding
Wot is 4 t m8 = What is for tea mate?
As if that isn't moronic enough people actually use language that is incorrect yet has
the same amount of characters as the normal word!!!! SO THERE IS NO ABBREVIATION JUST STUPIDITY!! I admit that these examples are infrequent but the fact that they exist makes
me writhe in my skin.
What is happening to the world? In 100 years will books be written like that?
"HoW 2 win friends n influence ppl"?
"Da Bible"?
"Oh Brudda where is ya"?
I can't wait to have a lobotomy so I can read at that level. This rubbish is promoting
f grade english students to feel comfortable with their inability to construct a sentence. In 200 years will this page look like old english? like shakespeare? THOU ART A PLEB!
If you are one of the unfortunate people to own a mobile phone please do your part and track down the people who use this "language" and beat them up. This rubbish isn't confined to mobile phone text messaging, it has infected the internet as well. Mostly chatrooms, where dickheads deserve each other. I guess this whole thing started with Hacker language, which was a legitimate way to buggarise with the english language to encode words so that their mums couldn't read it.
Language such as:
1 4M 31337 = I am elite
1 ju5t h4ck3d y0ur c0mput3r = I just hacked your computer
tH3 qU1ck bR0wN f0x jump3d oveR th3 lazy d06 = work it out yourself
Ok so I am not brilliant at emulating that language, but you get the point. That sort of stuff was not created to supposedly "save time" it was created because it was part of the culture and to a small extent, was code.
Sadly, it's all gone to hell. The english language is as extinct as the taliban and will be wiped from all memory if we don't take arms to destroy this menace. This is your calling!
MAD SOPHIST WANTS YOU! (not to be confused with uncle sam)
Comments? Email me