I have come to a realization: evangelicals are some of the least intelligent people out there, and if ever there was a flock of sheep, they would fall right in line. So, I think evangelicals are screwed up the ying yang. For one thing, they think Bush is some sort of Angel. I was watching 60 minutes and lo and behold, they had an entire segment of the show devoted to these freaks, and one pastor came on (who also was the co-author of the Left Behind series) and said that he and the other
co-writer would be red white and blue if you cut them in half. I realized then and there that those bastards are French! They're frogs! So, he admits that he's a frog, what all of America hates. Good for him! Support the French!

Evangelicals think that all those who don't believe in Christ are going to be caught up in a thing called “rapture” in which everyone 12 or under (If this is true, someone needs to keep up on their current events, sending little shits like these to heaven is quite fucked up: http://www.miami.com/mld/miamiherald/7883462.htm ) and those who have “Christ in their hearts” will ascend to heaven. Everyone else, Jews,
Catholics, Christians and all will be subject some really horrible things before they all go to hell. I have a couple problems with this whole idea and I'm going to outline them and then explain my views because I'm such a loveable guy.

According to the evangelicals god is one cruel bastard. They won't say that god is an ass hat who despises most of humanity and wants to torture us because they prefer to say that God loves all “his” people; sometimes they even believe this load of bullshit. So, why would this all forgiving, all loving “God” torture his “beloved” children just cause they don't believe his bastard child is a deity? Why does this “God” torture his “children” because they don't believe he exists? Why I ask
you, why? If anyone knows why god is such a two-faced bastard, please tell me; I'd really like to know. I guess God was lying all that time about loving everyone. He must only love those who not only believe in his son but also him. Damn, I wish Lucifer was part of this equation; I might be given a god damn good and non-hypocritical choice in what to do.

Evangelicals only believe in this bull crap so they won't get tortured. I mean, really, why else would they have un-wavering faith in this bullshit? They don't want to be tortured; that's the plain and simple truth. They only care about themselves and mortal pain. Isn't that nice, you know, the whole “We're gonna be in heaven watching you wither in pain because you didn't believe in some crazy guy named Jesus and we did, so HA! The joke's on you.” I wouldn't be so pissed off though if they didn't say that everyone but them is going to be tortured and eventually killed. I guess I should let them believe what they like, but if someone tells me that I'm going to be eternally damned or they think that rapture is going to be “cool” because they're not being tortured, I'm going to punch them, or kick them in the nuts. They deserve it.

( BY WHEEL)

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