Feng Shui is the bastard child offshoot of something that was actually interesting. It went down a similar path to all things wiccan. Wicca is the reincarnation of the religion of the celtic pagans, it was all about animal gods and spirits, healing and having huge parties. Now wicca is a load of shit about witches and spells to transform your naive and useless self into a princess married to Brad Pitt. The entire audience for wiccan authors is made up of idiots.

Feng Shui is quite similar. Feng shui is actually the braindamaged love child of geomancy. It's no surprise if you haven't heard of geomancy because it's cool. Geomancy is simply put about the lines of energy than run through the earth. Or less simply put:

Geomancy explores the realm where human consciousness meets and dialogues with the Spirit of the Earth. It empowers the harmonious interaction between person and place.
Through the art of appropriate placement of both secular and spiritual structures,
places where we pray, work and play, geomancers locate and shape spaces in harmony with both the physical and the spiritual environment of the place.

Chinese people also used to see geomancers to set the dates for their wedding so as for them to have good luck in their marriage. Granted it was bordering on superstition but if geomancy is a punch in the spleen then Feng Shui is castration using rusty piece of tin.

Feng Shui is all about money these days. It's a squillion dollar industry. People actually consult feng shui so called professionals to re arrange their furniture to promote prosperity, health and ward off evil spirits. I'm thinking of posing as a Feng Shui consultant and going and putting land mines under the furniture of my clients. If you're broke then possibly the best way to make money is to write (make up) a book about Feng Shui, tell people where to put their tv and you can be rich over night. Sadly there is a million morons out there that will take your book as the 21 century bible.

Here's a tip: You can face your bed opposite the door, you can build your house in a windy street, paint yourself red, put one of those ridiculous frogs at your front door with the coin in it's mouth and you'll STILL be broke, lonely, sick and an idiot. If you're stupid enough to waste your time re arranging your life then chances are you're too stupid to fix your worthless life.

Here's 3 things that are as productive as practicing Feng Shui:

3. Convincing a greenie hippie that wood chips actually look good in the
garden.

2. Trying to sell black people memberships to the Klu Klux Klan

1. Digging three holes in the ground because the first 2 weren't big enough
to burry yourself

Maybe if people used the time it takes to re arrange their lives to go to the gym, learn about investing, get a 3rd job then people could be healthy wealthy and wise. What am I thinking, in today's quick fix fast food disposable society... that will never happen. You know what, look out in the book stores for Mad Sophist's practical guide to Feng Shui.... it's time I made some money off the morons in the world.

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