I like to think I'm an open minded person.. but when I find something I despise, I tend to feel the need to destroy it with a blunt meerkat. I have found something I hate,
and that is Kabbalah.

If Kabbalah. was a song it would be "mmm bop". If it was a game, it would be lawn bowls and If it was a drink, it would be urine.

I've studied many religions, none of them remotely Jewish... so quite obviously I know very little of the religion. What I do know is it's adherents.. and their comments.

For a start, the religion has been made famous by Madonna. A tarted up corpse with cow hide stretched over her body to make her look alive. She's like 60 years old and in that time has presented us with more pig shit than the movie "babe in the city." Not once has she written or performed a song that didn't make me want to attack her frontal lobes with a nail gun. She boasts all the wit and charm of a pregnant wilderbeast. She is quite simply a fluke business woman who somehow learn 't to make money from having wide canyons and a personality as pleasant as a gangrenous testicle. We'll get to her later.

Let's look at what Madonna has said about her beloved cool kid cult:

"I'm a speck, an atom," she says. "Everything physical is an illusion, but it's there to guide us or test us or deter us."

"Kabbalah helped me understand that there is a bigger picture and that being well-intentioned is great, but if you don't live your life according to the laws of the universe, you bring chaos into your life."

"I'm not poking at things and ripping things open and being provocative just for the sake of riling people up," she says. "Every person on the planet is living in a kind of bubble, trapped into programmed thinking that we're all expected to have a certain amount of material things to be perceived as worthwhile human beings. I've found a way of life I'd like to share.
Despite the illusions I've been a slave to all my life, I feel a tremendous amount of hope for a life of fulfillment and happiness."

That last quote it by far the most nauseating of all.

So it's pretty safe to infer that this religion prizes spiritual wealth over material wealth. In fact "she" states that material wealth is an illusion that distracts us from the truth that we can't rely on money to make us happy, only ourselves.

I can dig that, but what I can't dig is Billionaires crapping on about the fact that they've found meaning and renounced materialism.. yet they still keep their fortune and 10 million dollar houses, ...well just because.

Madonna, sell all your possessions and live in poverty to prove to me that you can live without your fortune and I'll start handing out freaking pamphlets.

Even that crappy piece of red string they wear around their wrists is a material possession. I know it's supposed to ward off evil spirits... but all it's warding off is brain matter.

Lets look at Brittany Spears, a recently converted devotee... she's about as clued up as a box of rocks.

Here's what was said about her after a recent press conference about Kabbalah:

Brittany has recently developed, she says, an interest in Indian religions. Asked
whether this includes Hinduism, she enquires, "Is that like the Kabbalah?"

Obviously, she is more familiar with quantum physics and plate tectonics.

Lets see who madonna has managed to sucker into something she doesn't even understand:

"Super model Naomi Campbell has followed in Madonna's footsteps by turning to the mystic Jewish religion of Kabbalah in a bid to find inner peace. She has been spending more and more time at the Kabbalah's West Los Angeles headquarters since moving to her new £5 million Beverly Hills home."

AH... refreshing not to be able to spot any materialism there! Freaking moron.

"Ms Campbell joins a growing army of celebrities including Goldie Hawn, Alanis Morrisette and Diane Keaton who have turned to the obscure and undemanding form of Judaism which is sweeping Hollywood Hills."

Do us all a favour and dig a giant hole to hurl yourselves in... I'll gladly volunteer to
throw the dirt on top.

I am tired of whining brain dead celebrities talking about higher meanings that they discovered reading Oprah Magazine whilst taking a crap on their solid gold toilets. What's sad is that people in the spotlight are mistaken as being intelligent so they are asked to make all sorts of social commentary. Gee, Mel Gibson was great at playing a poofter in "What women want," lets ask him about the political turmoil in Zimbabwe.

I wouldn't trust Mel Gibson to park my car.

I'm sitting here looking at another list of hollywood dick heads who've jumped on the Kabbalah bandwagon. How this lame assed ancient religion became the coolest thing in town I'll never know.

Still, if Hollywood stars with a collective I.Q. of 17 think it's great then why should I?

Screw Madonna to hell with her tactless ploys and marketing gimmicks.. I simply refuse to believe that no human being is dumb enough to say what she does and be sincere.

If I had an I.Q. of 3,000, it would still only be the I.Q. of 3,000 hollywood pop princesses.

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