For those you privileged enough not to know what this show is about here's the description used on their idiotic website.

"Neighbours is a weekday soap opera exploring the lives and relationships of the
residents of Ramsay Street in Erinsborough.
Now in its eighteenth year of production, Neighbours is Australia’s most
successful television program, not to mention being a hit world-wide."

Now here's my description. Neighbours is the gayest thing ever to be conceived, let alone made available to morons worldwide. Millions of people murder their last few brain cells watching Neighbours each week. The show revolves around a street packed to the brim with halfwits, stupid samaritans and bratty snot nosed know it all children.

On the edge of their seats, people useful only for crash test dummies watch as neighbours enlightens them on how great it can be to gather as many morons as you can find and house them in a street with a stupid name.

Lets examine some of the major Characters:

The Hoylands

Boyd Hoyland Kyal Marsh
Summer Hoyland- Marisa Siketa
Max Hoyland- Stephen Lovatt

While Max is almost equally retarded as his two children, my major beef is with them.

Boyd: A certified pervert and witless know it all brat, he adds the much needed big brother figure teasing his little sister so we can all watch his father (Max) dicpilne him with about as much masculinity as a surgically modified drag queen. Watching Boyd and his dumbass escapades is as entertaining and engaging as washing your eyes out with bleach.

Summer: The cliched attempt at the innocent little lovable sweet 10 year old girl.
She follows her brother boyd around like haemmeroids and annoys the few friends boyd has into never coming back. She obviously has one brain cell more than her brother and father (so I suspect she has 3) as she is able to plot and deceive her way into the household role of the sacred child. She has a snotty little turned up nose that makes you want to beat it with a meat cleaver. She should be shipped off to china to help enforce the one child policy, as anyone feeling the need to breed will surely realize that there is a chance the child could be as repulsive as her.

The Kennedys
Ben Kirk- Noah Sutherland
Karl Kennedy- Alan Fletcher
Libby Kennedy- Kym Valentine
Susan Kennedy- Jackie Woodburne

Not lacking in the moron department either are the Kennedys. The worst of which is Susan.

Thankfully I couldn't bare to research this any more than 5 minutes but I have most of it down.

Susan recently suffered some stupid injury where she woke up thinking she was 16. Which is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. She's in her 40s married to a limp wristed dr who stands by her side as she does all the things stupid 16 year olds do. As a 16 year old she still has the same intelligence as she did before but suddenly realizes her husband is repulsive and tells him to get bent. (took her long enough). Of course she snaps out of it and they make up and probably have 11 more children to torture us for another generation.

The Scullys
Jack Scully- Jay Bunyan
Joe Scully- Shane Connor
Lyn Scully- Janet Andrewartha
Steph Scully- Carla Bonner
Oscar Scully-Ingo Dammer-Smith

The Scully's are probably the dumbest family in the street by a country mile.

Joe scully plays the witless man of the house who has about as much control over things as Hugh Grant does over his genitals. Week after week we watch him fail as a parent by trying to use words instead of slapping them around until they wise up. Not only does he have a vocabulary that would rival a baboon he also looks like one.

Lyn Scully is Joe's wife and she about as clued up as a box of rocks. Drifting off into some retarded trance she does the most ridiculous things and Joe still doesn't have the balls to make her sleep in the street. They recently had a baby which has added some sort of post natal rubbish poorly portrayed by f grade acting.

Others
Harold Bishop- Ian Smith
Lou Carpenter- Tom Oliver
Toadfish Rebecchi- Ryan Moloney
Nina Tucker- Delta Goodrem

Just when you think ramsey street is about to explode with stupidity there are more
witless characters.

Harold is an outmoded christian do godder fart brain who serves coffee and other allsorted beverages to his customer whilst he brainwashes them with his samaritan banter.Harold and Lou Carpenter are best friends who constantly fight over this ugly old church bag who has the sex appeal of a bush pig. Never refusing to help a friend in need, harold is the saint of Ramsey street and still remains positive as his fat cheeks flap like one of those drooling dogs from beethoven the movie. Harold's wife bit the dust a while ago and it was almost the happiest day of my life as she had a voice deeper than Mr T and made me want to hurl up my dinner at the thought of them screwing catholic style.

Toadfish:

What a dumbass name! What sort of pussy gets called toadfish and doesn't rip the persons head off. He also is abbreviated to "toadie" which is as cute as a massochist heroin junkie. His fiance just died which was good for him because she would have had to leave him anyway. She was hot and he is the ugliest man alive so it was just not believable. Toadface isn't even beautiful on the inside.

Nina Tucker:

We are all privileged enough to watch the famous Delta Goodrem play nina as delta and nina's careers mirror each other. As some sort of feminist whorebag Nina swans about being retarded and pretending like people care to watch her being stupid. She goes out with a guy named Jack who we can only hope starts taking to her with blunt objects to rid us of her stupidity. Nina is as witless, unintelligent and conceited as Delta is in real life.

That's the guts of it. The most frightening thing is that people actually watch it and millions of people can't live with their daily dose of gay hippie torture. I hope one day somebody who shares my ideals hosts a neighbours fan conference and buries all the people in concrete.

Better yet, convince them that dressing in tin foil and flying a kite in a thunderstorm
will get them a guest appearance on the show.

I hope channel ten goes down like Monica Lewinski for hosting this mindless drivel.

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