Welcome to the 2nd installment of "People are Morons." The critically acclaimed series that aims to educate the masses that they themselves are most probably a moron.
Now I don't normally do this sort of thing but in this instance I thought it was my duty.
My friend TFinn who you might need to refresh yourself with
(see "paranoia" and "geriatric genitals") had found some poor girl on the internet. He quickly converted her into a casual sex partner and recoiled when she fell in love with him and enquired as to whether a relationship was possible. TFinn sweated more than I'd even seen a man sweat.
The story here begins with a conversation I had with her recently online... and it was without a doubt evidence to prove she was clearly the stupidest moron I'd met this year.
Here is the transcript:
Me: hi
Her: hello
Me: how are you?
Her: great thanks u?
Me: not bad
Her: ummm what ur asl? i forgot
Me: uh, I am TFinns friend
Me: I live two blocks away
Me: and I am a man
Her: ok
Her: oh ok i forgot about it sorry so yeah
Me: no problem
Her: cool so have tim told ya that he when to see me few weeks ago?
Me: sorry?
Me: that made minimal sense
Her: oh ok that fine
Me: say again?
Her: for what?
Me: this: "cool so have tim told ya that he when to see me few weeks ago?"
Her: ok that what i was telling ya
Me: ?
Her: and what did he say
Me: uh nothing, he just said that he went
Me: oh and that you were fat.. that's all
Me: he didn't say anything to me
Her: hahaha very funny thanks for ur help
Me: I'm not a public service, why don't you ask him what he thought instead of trying to scab it from me
it's a little more noble that way, not to mention... adult
Her: ok what eva
Me: is english your first language?
Her: not really why
Me: it just appears blatantly obvious, what is your native tongue?
Her: but i speak english and spianish
Me: spanish is your first language?
Me: european or south american?
Her: well i am ireland part and australia
Me: uh... the irish don't speak spanish
Her: some
Me: yes, and some spanish speak gaelic... but neither are native languages to the areas
Her: there well my first lang is english
Me: you just said that it wasn't your first language?
Her: stirring u up
Me: no, I believe you are just cheating yourself of projecting an intelligent personality...
I am not stirred
Her: i was stirring u not u
Me: right
Me: usted hablas inglese?
Her: wat r u sayin there
Me: well, spanish
Her: but i dont really know all the spinish work only couple
Me: then it's best not to claim you can speak it because you occasionally bump
into people that are able to call your bluff
Her: what eva
She remained online but the short 2-3 minutes I spent talking to her cut my intelligence in half so I had to leave suddenly so as I would not turn into a vegetable listening to her trying to construct sentences at a year 2 level. By the way, I know my spanish wasn't exactly perfect.. but the point is she claimed to speak it.. she would have pointed it out.
My first reaction was to immediately message TFinn with "TFinn honestly the sex CAN'T be THAT good, she is a freaking moron! .. we need to talk"
TFInn later responded with: "*Laugh out Loud* now u understand why i go down only to fuk her and there's NO CHANCE of a relationship"
Only he accidentally sent that message to her!
He quickly pretended he was cutting and pasting a conversation between me and someone else and she bought it like a shopoholic in Boxing Day sales. That is a testament to her moron-ness.
Not only was she unable to see through my thinly veiled sarcasm at her expense.. but she failed to recognise that a message that was horridly obviously about her was anything to do with her at all.
I used to feel sorry for the fact that TFinn only used her for sex and she fell in love with him... but not anymore. I am supremely confident that she'd lose a battle of wits with a used tea bag.
People are morons
Comments? Email me