President Bush has done some outstandingly moronic things since he's been in office. I'd need a research assistant if I was going to try to put on paper every stupid thing he's ever said or done. Instead I'd like to consider one. It's not even really confined to Bush. It’s an announcement that many leaders have made.
Let me explain.
There was a hurricane hanging around the US and Haiti a while ago, with as much intensity as a dung beetle follows a ball of shit.I heard on the radio that the hurricane hit the US and the president gave his best effort to rectify the situation.
He declared the area a national disaster.
I can just picture it now:
"What do you reckon boss? Disaster?"
"nnnnnnnnnnyep. Let's get out of here."
How ripped off would you feel as a local. Oh great the president is coming... what can you do to help George? I call this a disaster! Oh thanks a bunch you arselicker.
I wonder if you need a college education to declare a disaster area. To me it sounds quite simple, and perhaps a job for someone who isn't running the biggest economy on earth.
I can't get beyond thinking that you just turn up to a place with a clipboard and pen, and everything is flat on the ground, you tick the "yes" box. If there's dead bodies rotting in the street, or if you're underwater and standing in someone’s living room... chances are that the owner might think it a little bit of an inconvenience to watch his fish swim out of their bowl and out the front door. Does it even need to be said?
"Three hundred people dead, houses blown into different states, cars underwater.. you guessed it! It's a fecking disaster!
It's kind of like the weather report for the day that's just gone. "Today got up to a high of 12." Thanks for the heads up, now I can go back in time with the knowledge that I'll need a thicker pair of socks. Why do people even care about the weather?
The weather is smarter than you. No matter how many umbrellas you have it can still screw you over. People have learnt to predict the weather with about as much accuracy as picking the name of the newest celebrity baby. Who the fuck calls a kid apple and gets away with it?
I started to write this article way before the Asian Tsunami, you'll notice nobody had to declare that a disaster. Does it take 100,000 people to die before someone notices? Ohhh, 12,000 dead. I'd best go check if it's a disaster. Yep, I was right; I'll make the declaration pronto.
By far the most obscenely moronic and offensively stupid thing I have heard lately was comments about Tsunami aid. Too many times people have said, look at all these billions we're sending... they'll be rich. Wrong dickface, they'll be rebuilding their lives, lives that were lived in poverty. I'm sure people expect to see them riding around in Mercedes in ten years, but the reality is they'll still be wading in their crops barely able to survive on a subsistence lifestyle. Still, it's nice to know people care so much that they only remember when the media reminds them or a wave drowns the fuck out of them.
I also love the way a disaster brings out Christian organizations like vultures to a corpse. Let’s send the poor bastards bibles so they can learn the answer to why their family all died.
It's because GOD WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS.
What a pile of shit.
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