I wish women would make up their goddam minds, I really do.  They are always changing it from one moment to the next, after changing twice between those moments.  Its infuriating, and gets us menfolk into a lot of trouble.  For instance, lets talk about birthday's, christmases, valentine's days, yearly anniversaries, monthly anniversaries, and even those 'its three years, two months, fourteen days and four hours since we first said we love each other' anniversaries. All you guys know what I'm talking about. Presents.  

Why oh why did God inflict us with having to buy presents for our girlfriends/wives/lovers/sex slaves?   You ask them what they want and what do they say?  "I don't want you to buy me anything."   Not true.   I know, because I did exactly that one year. You can guess the outcome.

Another saying of theirs is "Suprise me".  Arrghh.  Why do they say that?  I
once surprised my girlfriend and bought her a present, a red ferrari GT I
believe, and carefully hid it and did not let her know what it was.  Come the
birthday, she is jumping up and down dead excited, begging me for her surprise.  So I reached into my sock drawer and pulled out the present (A diamond sapphire
necklace, you'll remember). 
"I didn't want that." 
SO TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT!  This would be too simple, this would be the easy way.  Women do not have an 'Easy Way' option, whereas its the only choice for us men.
Another birthday trick is to hint at what they want, and then when they don't get that item, they complain that they told us what they wanted.  NO YOU DIDN'T!   Girls, hinting is no good, you have to tell us, and I mean really tell us.   I want you to come to me with a catalogue in hand, the item circled brightly, all other items on the page blacked out, so as not to run the risk of us looking at the wrong one, and saying "I want this for my birthday which is next Friday.", then I will be happy.  its not much to ask, is it?
 
On a more serious note, let's talk about equal rights.   Now, before any feminists reach for their 'Write Angry E-mail' button, let me make this clear:  I am all for equal rights.  I would be overjoyed if women got treated the same, payed they same, were allowed all the same jobs.  However, there is no middle ground here.  you are either the weaker sex (Not my opinion, I must stress ladies, direct your outraged squeals elsewhere, please), or you are equal with men.   So when, on a crowded train or a bus, you should not expect any man to stand up to let you sit down unless under specific conditions, which I will helpfully outline for you here:

1) You are pregnant, or have a child with you.
2) You are elderly
3) You have some problem that requires you sit down.
 
See what I mean?  You prattle on about equal rights, then expect us to stand up for you!  its gotta be fair here ladies.   We don't expect you to stand up to let us have a seat, so don't you do it.  Equal rights?  Hell, what about our equal rights?
 
Anyway, I think I may have said enough to provoke a couple of angry women who
have not read this article properly, so I will leave you in peace until next week, when I will be ragging on Men.  Not just men, but young white gangsta english wannabe's. (I am occasionally mistaken for one of them myself, which I will discuss next time).

By Ste

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