I've ratted on doorknocker's before calling them out for the public toilet scum that they are. It may have slightly taken the emphasis away from telemarketers, but no more.

Telemarketers are exactly like doorknocker's, only they lack the balls to get in your face. They hide behind their telephones brandishing giant erections at the thought of annoying you in such a way that society has lead us to believe is acceptable. They validate their existence by saying
"It's the company that's doing it, if I didn't do it they'd hire someone else."
What if nobody did it you sniveling little trout?

Somehow these bottom feeding employee's have tricked us in to thinking that telling them to piss off to hell and die is somehow only a personal attack that is un warranted. I disagree. If somebody calls me up I will not sympathize with them about their measly leech-like existence.

For example:

I was at a friends house the other day (TFinns) and he has a 2nd phone line which he uses for internet only. None of his friends or family ever call it, only people who find the number listed in the phone book. Given this, it's safe to say 110% of all calls are telemarketers.

I say "Answer the phone" but TFinn replies that it's only ever telemarketers. I demand he answer anyway to express to the caller that his greatest hope would for them to be hit in the ear by a bolt of lightning through the other end of the telephone.

One day, he demands that if I am to talk tough... I back up my allegations. So I answer the phone.

The conversation is as follows:

Lady: Hi, is Mr TFinn there

Me: Well no, but I could take a message

Lady: Oh, ok I might call back later

Me: So.. who's calling

Lady: Oh it's Karen from the Cancer Foundation... I'll call back later

Me: Oh no... It's ok, none of us have that. See you

*Beeping sound*

I hang up the phone and look around the room at TFinn and his sister laughing their guts up trying to pretend that I had done something horrible. Horrible, but funny.

I can see myself getting a lot of slack for this, so let me plead my case.

I hate telemarketers enough without them being from some charity that make you feel like Hitler if you don't give them money. Trapping people and taking away their choices is wrong. I for one will not stand for it. I give more money to cripples than anyone else I know, and that not only gives me the right to CALL them cripples, but also to talk shit when THEY call.

I'd be more sympathetic if I knew the money wasn't going to some executives "Armani Suit" account or his "back door dark alley discrete entrance" account. I'd also be more sympathetic if Delta Goodrem didn't have cancer. It's great to see the world made such a fuss about some tarted up snow pea who could afford the treatment and the worlds best doctors 20 times over.

In conclusion, telemarketers are somewhere between the chewing gum stuck to your shoe that you walk through dog shit with, and the water in your ear after you go swimming in a heated pool that causes an infection. Do you're bit and cut them to shreds.

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